Dear Shine Sprite,

I know you’re up in the mess of girders and platforms and cages and enemies and all. I would love to help you out. But I’m 25 and I have better things to do. Like just relax and do nothing. I stress all day doing work, I don’t want to stress on my relax time. If I was 15 and didn’t have  a set of wheels or a job or a girlfriend, then yeah, I’d help you get out even if it took me 100 tries.

In fact, I am pretty sure I helped you out of there like twice before in my life. But no. I kept falling off of that mess, and upscale input lag from my Gamecube isn’t really helping all this precision jumping very much…

So, I’m sorry, but you’re in there for a while. i’m gonna have a beer and watch Family Guy.

Slugbox